What if…? (Or, what God is continuing to show me well after Storyline.)

Four weeks ago, I was blessed to find out that my inheritance from my Grandmother had come in earlier than was expected. It was well over the amount I thought I had expected it to be and I was able to pay off all of my debt.

In other words, I’M DEBT FREE!

(Ahem. Pardon my excitement.)

So now, I’m sitting in a coffee shop on a very humid day on the north shores of the Outer Banks. This vacation has been a long time coming and it’s a celebration of the laboring that I’ve been doing for the past two years or so to get out of debt. The rest is much needed and I’m happy to be enjoying the fruits of my labor.

A few months earlier, I went to the Storyline Conference in Nashville. Donald Miller, author of books such as Blue Like Jazz (which became a motion picture) and A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, taught us a game that writers tend to play called the “What If?” game. At that time, I was unsure of a few things; still unsure as a matter of fact.

But now that I’m debt free, I’ve been given permission to dream, permission to hope, and permission to ask, “What If?” again.

I’m on the third day of my vacation (well, first, really, if you don’t count the two travel days and one lazy day) and I’m back to asking those questions again.

Now that I’m debt free, the “What if?” questions start again.

What if… I wanted to learn a new craft? Start my own business? Relocate to another town? Or another state?

Reading the beginning of the Gospel of Mark, perhaps the early disciples had these thoughts. Back in the day, these men traditionally followed the professions of their fathers and they didn’t move too far from home. Then one day, Jesus comes along and rocks their world.

Passing alongside the Sea of Galilee, He saw Simon and Andrew the brother of Simon casting a net into the sea, for they were fishermen. And Jesus said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you become fishers of men.” And immediately they left their nets and followed him. And going on a little farther, He saw James the son of Zebedee and John his brother, who were in their boat mending the nets. And immediately He called them, and they left their father Zebedee in the boat with the hired servants and followed Him. (Mark 1:16-20 ESV)

Think about that for a moment: these men, probably no older than 19 or 20, molded to take over their father’s business one day, get a call from GOD HIMSELF to drop their nets and follow Him. They risked rejection from their family and the people of their own towns to do that.

That takes guts – and a mountain’s worth of faith.

These young men trusted in the sovereignty of the Creator of the Universe as He showed them what this life was all about. And even after His death and eventual resurrection, Jesus would find these guys going back to their professions of inheritance because they thought that their time with Him was over. But to paraphrase the famous words of Yogi Berra, it wasn’t over till it was over. Jesus lead them back into the field where many of them would risk (and some would lay down) their lives spreading His hope to the many who needed to hear the Gospel.

I have hope that just because one stage of my life is over that another one is just beginning and that I’m only just beginning to write out the story of my life.

Purpose is waiting. Trust in God and He’ll help us to realize what our purpose is.

Pax.

Legacy. (Or, what God taught me on the road to Financial Peace.)

(I originally wrote this as a potential write-up for my church’s newsletter. Alas, the deadline had slipped by and I didn’t get the chance to have it published. So I decided to make it one of my blog posts – with a few changes added in. Enjoy!)

In September 2009, I made the decision to attend Financial Peace University. I was in a substantial financial hole; I bought a new car that I didn’t need to buy, I had a student loan for a school I dropped out of, and I had other various personal loans because I was a frequent attendant to the Church of Stuff. I felt the need to change this. So I started attending the class. What appealed to me the most about the course was the aspect of legacy building and the need to do something good with what I leave behind when my time on Earth is complete.

I’ve acquired some little nuggets of wisdom to pass along to those who are considering taking the course or who are still on the fence about it. Hopefully, it’ll give you some motivation to take the course.

1. Allow yourself some grace – because we have a God who already does.

   If you mess up on any of the steps during the process, it’s okay! Those who are closest to me know that I’m my own toughest critic and up until now, the debt elimination process was going slower than expected. (Call it Water Buffalo Intensity as opposed to Gazelle Intensity.) But God isn’t contained by timeframes; He’s not a boss – He’s a dad. He’ll give you a kick in the butt, but He’ll also put an arm around your shoulder and tell you that it’s okay. Keep moving!

2. Your personal debt will NEVER be made known to the rest of the group.

   When we were given the homework assignment to total up all of our debts, I was nervous that I had to share my individual damage with the rest of the group. What our coordinators did do, though, is added up all of our debt COLLECTIVELY and announced our debt as a group. The irony in this is that as I was blogging my journey, I disclosed my debt number. But not disclosing it to the group actually gave me the freedom to publish my debt on my blog.

3. Work hard knowing that your future is bright.
   

   If you’re in debt, you’re going to have to work hard to get out of it. It’s going to take sacrifice and that includes sticking to a budget, admittedly the hardest thing to do during my journey. It might also mean taking a part-time job or working overtime. It’ll be tough work and it requires tears and sweat, but the reward is life-changing. You’ll be free to pursue your dreams and your family’s dreams.

4. Ask God what you want out of FPU – He won’t lead you astray.
   

   For me, it was legacy building. For two friends of mine, it was sensing the call to ministry and getting out of debt was one of those steps towards their call. And for many others, it was providing a hopeful future for their children. Whatever your reason for taking the course, include God in those plans.

5. The legacies of others in different forms can boost your future.
   

   I am blessed to work for a company that rewards those who stick around and work hard for the good of the company. I am also blessed to have a grandmother who followed the same principles as explained in FPU and left me, and other members of my family, a significant inheritance after she passed away. Things like bonuses and inheritance money thanks to the due diligence of previous generations and the examples they follow provide a blessing. These blessings help your future. You will also have the opportunity to leave legacies for other generations, just like my grandma did.

6. When you become debt free, CELEBRATE!
   

   Go crazy! Do something to begin your new life – debt-free! I plan on travelling back to Nashville before the end of the year to do my debt-free scream at Financial Peace Plaza. I’m hoping that my dad will come with me – he’ll be debt-free next week!

I’m truly, truly excited to see what the future holds for me. I do plan on going back to school in January – without the help of Sally Mae. She’ll be outside my window holding up a ghetto blaster a la Jon Cusack in “Say Anything,” playing something by Peter Gabriel. (Hopefully, it’s “Big Time.” I love that song.) But I’ll be telling Sally Mae to hit the bricks as my school funding will be self-financed.

I’m not sure what else is in my future. Maybe it’s marriage. Maybe it’s a house. Maybe it’ll be missions. God only knows. But I know that the future is bright, knowing the tools I learned from Financial Peace University and knowing that God’s way and grandma’s way of handling money truly brings blessing.

I hope that you will also take the class (if you already haven’t0. It will bless you as well.

Pax.

Childlike Faith. (Or, What God taught me at VBS.)

When I was a young lad, one of the highlights of my summer would be attending Vacation Bible School at church. This outreach effort was put together for the children in the community to help us grow in our faith. (Or it was a way to grant the moms in the community a moment of serenity/sanity. Perspective is everything.) Every year at the church where I was going growing up, it would be the boys’ team against the girls’ team and it was a race for points to see who would prevail.

In the fifth grade, I broke my wrist. That summer, I couldn’t do all of the things that kids would do. Then came VBS and on the first night was the sword drill competition. For those of you unfamiliar with what sword drills are, you are given a Bible verse and you would have to search as fast as you could to find the verse. The kid who read the first word in the verse advanced. It would repeat and repeat until they had five or six kids on stage.

I not only had a broken wrist, but a hardcover Bible as well, so you would think that I would get smashed, right? Wrong! I rocked that first night, fighting my way to a spot in the final on Friday night. In the final, I fought all the way to the final two where I faced a girl. I remember the verse we were given: Philemon 13.

You could sense the tension in the air as it came down to this girl and I. We drew our swords (read: Bibles), dueled, and…

I lost.

As competitive as I was (and still am), I was bummed that I lost. But my adult leaders and my parents were proud of the fact that I had gotten that far, even with my limitations. The next year, I wound up winning the sword drill competition. No splint or hardcover Bible required.

Many, many years later, the format of our VBS has changed. The focus is not so much of showing the kids a good time, but showing them what faith looks like. The theme that the church put together (provided by Group) was Sky VBS: Everything is Possible with God! Even now as a man in his thirties, the theme gave me reminders that still ring true.

No matter who you are, how you feel, what people do, what happens, or where you go… trust God.

Reflecting back on my week at VBS and in my reading of the Gospels over the summer, I’ve collided with Jesus in chapter eighteen of Matthew’s account. Here we see God as Man checking out a debate amongst the disciples of who is the greatest of all of them. He was probably more amused than perturbed over their minor discussion as if He were watching two boys arguing over whose dad is stronger.

(Sidebar: do you think Jesus ever got into that argument when He was a kid? I hope He did! I can imagine this repartee going like this:

“My dad can beat up your dad!”

“Yeah, well… my Dad created the universe. What. Up.”)

At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, ”Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 18:1-4)

Something that gets lost on us as adults in our walk with God is the trust factor. This is especially true for us kids who grew up going to church; you go to church, you hear the stories, you memorize the verses, but what’s left out is application. As we get older, particularly in our teenage years, we get hurt. People hurt us, experiences leave scars. Sometimes we wonder where God is in the dark times. If we’re taught not to apply all of those things that we memorize as children, our trust in God leaves us.

Jesus reminds us to come back to our childhood and lay our faith in Him.

If that trust is progressive, then that’s fine. Trust cannot just be flippant; it needs to develop, like laying down a foundation. Concrete needs to harden in order to be strong.

May you (and I) continue to build our foundation of trust in God.

Pax.

Cats and Kittens. (Or, What Jesus teaches about fear.)

This is a tale (or post) of two different animals. One is my cat Oreo; she’s three years old and fully grown. She’s very chill and a very relaxed cat – unless you make a sudden movement, then she runs away. But once she gets used to you, she’s probably the sweetest cat you’ll ever meet. She’s very cuddly and loves tummy rubs.

Enter a month ago: my sister and I made the decision to get her a companion. We acquired an eight-week old orange kitten that we renamed Tag-a-long (he was originally named Ginger by the original owners’ kids). He’s the most fearless cat I’ve ever come across. He’s extremely playful – as most kittens are – and loves to chase and chew on things.

Over the past month, we’ve been trying to slowly incorporating them into a mutual co-existence. The first week was tense; Oreo would growl and hiss at Tags whenever he would try to approach her. I tried a trick and wiped some of her essence on him thinking that would help and it initially did. She’s come to tolerate him to the extent where she gives him a beat down whenever he jumps on her back and deservedly so. She hates surprises. But he can’t help it; he’s a kitten. He just wants to play while she just wants to chill, get a bite to eat, or get a drink.

One cat is fearless, the other quite fearful. What does this have to with Jesus?

When I’ve had the opportunity, I’ve been reading Matthew’s gospel. Jesus is teaching His disciples during their many travels together and He is just wrapping up a lesson about persecution and hardship that will come from following Him.

How does He wrap up this lesson? With a command: fear not.

²⁶ “So have no fear of them, for nothing is covered that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known.²⁷ What I tell you in the dark, say in the light, and what you hear whispered, proclaim on the housetops.²⁸ And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell. ²⁹ Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. ³⁰ But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. ³¹ Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. ³² So everyone who acknowledges me before men, I also will acknowledge before my Father who is in heaven, ³³ but whoever denies me before men, I also will deny before my Father who is in heaven.” (Matthew 10:26-33, ESV)

This is intensely counteractive! Jesus doesn’t say, “If you’re facing opposition, run away,” or “If someone is giving you guff for what you believe, stop following me.” Nope. The command is, don’t fear.

I’ve been meditating over verse 28 especially…

And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell.

I wrote this down this thought in my journal: “Man only has the power to oppress the Christian physically, politically, emotionally, and mentally. But man has NO POWER over the Christian spiritually. Only God has reign on our spiritual life here and in the after.”

I recently finished the book Love Does by Bob Goff. Those who attended the Storyline conference in Nashville received a free copy of his book, as well as a hug if you wanted one from Bob after the conference. (Which I did. I rock the hugs.) Reading through his book I see what kind of a life that Bob has lived and it’s been one without any fear of repercussion or consequence because he knows that Jesus is there with him. One chapter that stuck in my mind was when he was trying to get into law school and every day, he would run into the dean of admissions asking if today would be the day that he would buy his books. Every day, the dean would avoid him until one day, the dean says to Bob, “Go buy your books.”

This brand of resolve I admire. This is the brand of resolve that Jesus wants us to have.

Bob’s admonishment for all of us at the end of the conference was the same that Jesus gave to His disciples and it was as simple as the one that Jesus gave…

FEAR NOT.

My prayer for us who are believers is that we would live lives absent of fear and to consistently live lives filled with love. And for those who don’t believe, I encourage you to explore the life of Jesus, who does not guarantee a life void of confrontation, but walks us through those times without fear.

Pax.

Action. (Or, What God is Showing Me through the Beattitudes.)

For the first time in five summers, I don’t have anything significant going on in terms of ministry. No short-term mission trips, no Baseball Chapel… in other words, I have the summer to myself. Not entirely to myself, though; God is walking with me. I’ve been receiving some good advice from friends and former ministry partners to take the summer to grow, especially spiritually.

This is going to be an interesting season.

One of the things that I recently started doing is reading through the Gospels. I know that it won’t take the entire summer to do, but it’s a good place to start. The investigation into the life of Jesus and what He accomplished will be on the forefront of my mind and heart throughout the summer. Naturally, I began in the Gospel of Matthew and I’m working my way forward. This morning, I read the beginning of Matthew 5 , and in summary…

Jesus intends for all people to live lives of action and starts with the Beattitudes.

v. 3: Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

It’s the recognition that we need help from above. When we humble request God’s help daily, it gives us freedom to act.

v. 4: Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

A broken spirit realizes their need for God. When we come to God as broken people, He will lift us up and repair us. (A word of caution: this takes time and patience.)

v.5:
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

God requires nothing more of us than to come to Him with empty hands and humility. Stay humble before God.

v. 6: Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

When we are very hungry or thirsty, we will demonstrate our want for food and water. The Christian’s desperation should always be for God.

v. 7: Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.

I know that I certainly don’t deserve God’s blessing, but He blesses me anyway. I ought to act in the same way towards others, especially those who don’t know Christ.

v. 8: Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

When we express our faith towards others, what’s your motive? Is it to win favor before people or to honor God? Check your motives before you act.

v. 9: Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

Are you someone who causes drama? God asks us to seek resolution with those who we’ve wronged and maintain to keep that peace.

v. 10-11: Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.

Don’t be afraid of being persecuted because of your faith in Christ because it’s expected to happen. What’s the worst that could happen? Well, you could have your life taken. But the cause is worth it.

v. 12: Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Is there joy from persecution? That’s what Jesus instructs of us. Face your adversity with joy, regardless of the cost. The reward will be eternity with Jesus!

One of the things that I’m concentrating on this summer is making new friendships and building and cultivating present ones. The only way that I know how to do that is to live the words that Jesus instructs in these verses in this part of Matthew.

I need to recognize that I need God’s help every day and ask for it. I have to remind myself that I can’t do everything by myself and ask for God to walk with me. I will act with humility, kindness, and purity of motive towards others, especially those who I do not know. I will maintain bridges of friendship and repair old ones. If someone gives me guff because of my faith, I will be okay with that. God knows that I’m acting in faith for His sake.

My prayer for those who are Christians is that we not only read the words of Jesus, but we act in those words. My prayer for those who are not Christians is that you investigate and examine the life of Jesus and see that His words bring life when you act on them.

Pax.

What if…? (Or, What God is Teaching Me about Being a Better Friend.)

As previously blogged, I traveled to Nashville last month and attended the Storyline conference, hosted by Donald Miller. One of the modules that Miller has the attendees complete is about certain roles that we play. It could be a husband, father, spiritual being, athlete, and what have you. One of my roles (since I’m neither a husband or father – yes, ladies, I am single) that I chose was friend – and one of the games that authors play all the time is the “What if…?” game.

I decided for myself one day to play the “What if…” game in my Moleskine journal. I went over the roles that currently play in my life: son, brother, team member (that’s my word for employee – because employees are treated more like numbers than people), friend, and spiritual being. The questions that I asked of me as a friend were these:

What if I was more vulnerable?

What if I asked my friends to keep me more accountable for my actions?

What if I went deeper than surface level?

It’s Wednesday morning and I’m writing this at one of my new favorite breakfast places, Iron Roost. Bit by bit, I’ve gotten to know the owner, Linnaea, and my hope is that I’m not just as one of her usual customers, but also her friend. From the moment that I stepped into this place, it’s very clear that she’s poured her heart and spirit into this place because she wants this place to be where friends meet and share good food. (The food is excellent, I must add.)

In short, as odd as it may sound, she treats her establishment like a friend.

My typical Wednesdays at “The Roost” had me thinking about the value of friendship and what the Bible has to say about it. I found a series of verses that I’ve found that can help your friendships, regardless of our spiritual status.

“The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray.” – Proverbs 12:26; true friends warn each other when trouble is creeping towards their door. When your friends do get into trouble, never, ever hang that over their heads. Love them anyway and help them out.

“A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends.” – Proverbs 16:28; tragically, misinformation and misjudgments lead friendships down the road to destruction. Squash out ANY rumors and gossip before it spreads and hurts.

“A friend is always loyal,
and a brother is born to help in time of need.”
– Proverbs 17:17; in times of desperation and dire need, our closest friends are like siblings: their unconditional love and support will carry you through those times.

“There are “friends” who destroy each other,
but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.”
– Proverbs 18:24; like the previous verse, we can have friends that are as close as siblings. However, there are people who act like our friends and use people for their own gain. Be on watch for those “friends.”

“Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.” – Proverbs 27:6; there comes a time in every person’s life where they have to hurt their friends for the good of the friendship. But forgiveness covers all wounds; it’s a suture for the deepest of hurt.

“The heartfelt counsel of a friend
is as sweet as perfume and incense.” – Proverbs 27:9; friends bring life and their advice, especially if it is from godly wisdom, is invaluable!

“Never abandon a friend —
either yours or your father’s.
When disaster strikes, you won’t have to ask your brother for assistance.
It’s better to go to a neighbor than to a brother who lives far away.”
– Proverbs 27:10; when our friends or a even a friend of our parents ask us for help, don’t desert them. God never deserts us in our need; we ought to act in the same for our friends.

“As iron sharpens iron,
so a friend sharpens a friend.”
– Proverbs 27:17; a healthy relationship always involves two people wanting nothing but good things for each other. This verse personifies that thinking; friends should always seek well for their friends and should steer them towards those things.

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.
If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.
Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone?
A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” – Ecclesiastes 4:9-12; in short, friends that stick together can take on the world.

Jesus Christ also had many roles in His earthly life; son, brother, carpenter, teacher, and God Incarnate. In His heavenly role, He is Son, King, Sovereign, and Savior. But one role that He also mentioned was that of friend.

“There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.” – John 15:13-14

Jesus is Lord, King, and Christ… but He is also our Best Friend.

My prayer for you (and I) who are Christians is to treat our friends right: love them, encourage them, rebuke them (when it’s warranted), and be there for them when they need you most.

My prayer for those who are non-Christians: get to know Jesus. He’s the Best Friend that you’ll ever have. He’ll never abandon or leave you and He’s always there when we need Him the most.

Pax.

Unfinished. (Or, what God taught me in Nashville.)

I’m home from Nashville. I brought a lot with me to Nashville, but I took back so much more than what I came with – in more ways than one. In addition to the wealth of knowledge that I bring home, I also bring home four books, five CDs, and a t-shirt. I should start a library.

(Coming soon to Albany: Ryan’s Center for Christians Who Can’t Read Good…)

In the days leading up to Storyline, I had gone around the city from Thursday through Saturday, meeting new people, soaking in the city’s “Southern hospitality.” That term doesn’t do the actual meaning justice. Wherever I went, people were kind and open to the fact that a guy from the Northeast would want to visit their city. It was humbling, really.

Sunday was Storyline, but before that, I went to church at CrossPoint on Charlotte Avenue. This church was recommended to me by a couple of Twitter followers. Like a lot of bigger churches in the United States, they are a multi-campus site. However, they have a big mission to reach the entire city of Nashville. And yes, that mission is going to take a lot of money ($5 million to be exact), but the pastors and elders of the church have their hearts and minds set on this city’s soul.

Seeing a church in another city that has a desire to grow and reach people in the cause of Christ can set off several emotions:

Envy: “Another church is growing bigger and faster than mine.”

Regret: “I want to stay and help, but I can’t because I have to go back.

Passion: “I’m inspired by this church and I want to do the same for my community.”

I began to ask myself, “How could I envy another church that wants to reach their community and enrich their lives? And why should I regret that I can’t help out this church when my church at home needs me to help them?”

I had no other option. Passion won me over.

After my time at CrossPoint, I headed over to Belmont University for Storyline. I came into it feeling kind of blasé about my life. My chaplain season ended about a month ago and I have been struggling to find excitement at my job. My story was beginning to go stale. This conference and the subsequent exercises after (yes, Donald Miller gave us homework – I think only a handful of people can actually say that) are forcing me to realize some things about my life: what my passions are, what I value most, and who the characters are in my life that will come along with me for the ride.

When the conference ended and I got my photos with Donald Miller and Bob Goff (who introduces himself not with a handshake, but a hug), I went to the apartment where I was being hosted and contemplated my next move in the city. I wound up going to the West End near Vanderbilt University. I was taking a walk around Centennial Park, when I came across the World War I monument.

“I gave my best to make a better world.”

The inscription on the memorial summarized my time in Nashville. It was a time of renewal and reaffirmation in that I want to give my best, regardless of who I serve. For my family, my friends, my work associates, even complete strangers…

If my best is all that I have to offer, then that’s what I will give.

Miller talked about how the end of our lives is like the end credits to a movie. I want the final scene to be like the inscription on that statue, that I give my best because I want to make this world a better place. While this chapter of my story ended, the story remains unfinished. But I know what I want the final ending to be when the credits roll.

My prayer for us is that we all give our best to make a better world. May we all give our best not out of selfish ambition, but because there is a greater purpose than satisfying ourselves. And may all of our stories have a great ending.

Pax.